Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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