Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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