I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
