yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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