do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
