Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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