my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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