dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
