What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
