i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
