I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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