Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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