Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can you bring me the toilet please
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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