Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
