He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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