Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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