why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
