If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
