is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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