in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize