okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
