I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I CAN MOONWALK!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
