Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think people are normalizing furries
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
