i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
