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walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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