Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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