No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
