so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
