I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
