the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
