do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
