she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
