the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
