He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This baby is an asshole
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
