Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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