Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
