Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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