Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
