I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
