No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
