I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
