Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
