we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
