Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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