First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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