Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize