She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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