Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
