The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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