i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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