You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
