I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
