he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
