I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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