dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
