so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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