Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
