I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
