It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
