Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
