We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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