Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize