At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
