Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
