the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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