so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
