Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
