The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
